


Langst One-Shots *Requests Welcome*

by Lexi323



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Galra Empire, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Langst, Love, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Multi, Omgaverse, Pain, Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous Voltron Paladins, Polyamorous relationship, Self Harm, Voltron, altea, oneshots, overcoming, polyamorous, polygamous, polygamous relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-06-17 11:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15459918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexi323/pseuds/Lexi323
Summary: A collection of Langst Oneshots inspired by various scenarios, prompts and books. I hope you enjoy them, requests are welcome but I try to stick to happy endings.





	1. My Birthday...

_**(A/n): Yaaaay new book, please leave your requests in the comments. Happy birthday Lance, you're my favourite character :)** _

**Lance's P.O.V.**  
My eyes snap open with excitement. Today's my 18th birthday, July 28th. Pidge managed to get the dates from earth and we made a calendar so we can keep up with earth dates. I know Hunk and Pidge know what day my birthday is so maybe I'll get to celebrate it with the team.

We celebrated everyone else's birthday since we got the dates so I can't imagine why mine should be any different. I wonder if I'll get any presents? I can just feel today is going to be a good day, it's my birthday after all!

I quickly get out of bed and take a shower, then I put on my regular clothes and my face mask waiting for it to soak in. When I'm finally done I clean my face and walk out of my bedroom, bouncing towards the kitchen where I know Hunk will be.

I was right, he is in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Hey Hunk." I say happily

"Morning Lance, you're up early today." He replies

"Haha well today is special." I reply

"Why? Are we going to a new planet today?" Hunk asks excitedly

In that moment I feel my heart sink and shatter. Does he not remember? But he has to remember! He's my best friend...

Maybe I shouldn't have expected him to, he's got more important things to worry about. We're in the middle of a war and I'm so selfish to think about myself. But maybe someone else remembered, it's not bad to just ask.

"Ahah no I don't think so, are you sure you don't remember?" I ask

"Nope, come on tell me." Hunk replies excitedly

"Maybe later then." I say giving a half hearted chuckle and walking out of the kitchen

As I walk down the hallways I come across Pidge who is hacking on her computer. I walk up to her and plaster a smile on my face.

"Hey Pidge, remember what today is?" I ask

"No?" She replies confused "Is it something important?"

"No not really, never mind." I reply and walk off

Pidge and Hunk would know about my birthday because I told them at the Garrison but I told everyone else my birthday when we first figured out the dates, surely someone remembers.

I walk to the training room and sure enough Keith and Shiro are there, my heart beats a little faster as I see them but I try to remain calm. I take a few steps inside and wait for them to finish. After a few minutes they finish their level and take a break.

Jeez they both look so hot right now, in their tight body suits and armour. I know if I let myself I'd fall so deeply in love with them. One problem, they're dating each other.

"Lance?" Shiro asks snapping me from my thoughts

"Oh sorry, umm do you know what today is?" I ask nervously

"Saturday according to the castle calendar." Shiro says

"And?" I say, almost desperately

"And what?" Keith asks "This isn't like the Voltron chant again is it? Am I missing something? I still, don't understand why saying Voltron wasn't enough!"

"Keith calm down." Shiro says placing a hand on his shoulder "I'm sure that's not what Lance is talking about."

"No I wasn't." I say quietly, looking at the floor "If you don't remember then never mind."

"Are you sure?" Shiro asks, looking concerned "Is it something important?"

"D-Do you really not remember what July 28th is?" I ask

They both look confused and shake their heads. I sigh and walk out without saying anything else. I wonder if Coran or Allura know what today is, I know they celebrated birthdays on Altea but they probably would pay more focus to the war. Zarkon has lead a lot of attacks lately.

Allura and Coran are in the control room looking through the galaxies and planets.

"Hey you two, what are you doing?" I ask

"Lance, you're up surprisingly early." Allura stares shocked

"Well I wanted to get the most out of a special day like today." I say feeling worried that no one has remembered

"Good for you Lance, but why is today special?" Allura asks looking confused

"Princess how can you not remember?" Coran asks, giving me a glint of hope "Today is the day I cook my newest masterpiece, Number 3 here is obviously excited about my delicious brand new creation."

They get into a discussion about whether Coran should be cooking again after last time when he burnt half the kitchen. I quietly slip out of the control room already exhausted and the day has barely started.

I drag myself to the dining room where breakfast is being served. I eat quietly when suddenly Shiro stands up very quickly.

"I just remembered!" Shiro says and my head snaps up

"Yeah?" I say hopefully

"The Auxerans sent us an invite to a festival they're holding in a few days." Shiro explains "It's the queen's birthday."

Auxeria is a planet we freed a while back and they were so grateful that they promised to invite us to any festivals. I can't imagine myself being in any mood to party for a while, especially for someone else. I can't believe I'm so selfish...

The Auxerans look pretty human except their skin colours which see pink, blue, yellow or orange with swirly patters on them. They also have four arms but other than that they're very similar to us.

After finishing breakfast I head to the training room to work off the frustration I have inside. This is such a horrible day, I can't wait for it to be over.

****Time skip to a few days later****

**Lance's P.O.V.**  
It's the day of the party, I'm dressed in my paladin armour and I'm ready to break down. There was no surprise birthday party, no presents, no acknowledgement of my birthday. After that I gave up hope that I'd ever be really important to the team.

Even though I knew I'd never be with Shiro and Keith it feels worse now to see them together. Did they purposely forget my birthday? Do they not want me on the team anymore?

Right now we're in the control room, waiting for Allura to land the castle so we can attend the party. Finally it's landed and we all filter out of the castle to the castle of Auxeria where the queen and king are waiting.

"Paladins of Voltron we welcome you." The king says

"Yes, thank you for coming." The queen replies

"It's our honour your majesty." Shiro says smiling happily

"Thank you for inviting us." Allura states "Birthdays are always a joyous occasion."

Ha yeah...

We are taken inside the castle to a big ball room where the party is being held. I can't find it in myself to pretend I'm having fun so I quietly sneak off to a corner to sit down and force myself not to cry.

I look to the dance floor and see Shiro and Keith slow dancing, suddenly the look over to me, whisper something and then begun to walk over. Oh god what do they want? Did they see I was staring at them and worked out I like them?

"Excuse me sir." A voice says and I turn to see a service boy holding a tray of drinks "Would you like some Reyx? It's very delicious."

"Umm sure." I reply taking a glass, Reyx is pretty much alcohol, I guess I'll have my first drink alone

Just as I take the glass it's pulled out of my hands by Keith, next to him is Shiro who is looking at me a little disappointed.

"What's wrong?" I ask confused "Can I have my drink back please?"

The server has left, he probably senses the tension and wants to get away from here as soon as possible. Honestly I feel the same, I wish I could just leave,

"Lance we spoke about this earlier to the group." Shiro says "Reyx is the same as alcohol, you're not 18 yet."

"Actually yes I am." I mumble quietly, looking down to the ground

"What did you say?" Keith asks

"Actually yes I am." I say snapping my head up "I turned 18 three days ago and I didn't get one happy birthday so don't pretend to care about me now. You're just trying to control me because you're the 'leaders'."

"L-Lance..." Keith says looking shocked

Shiro stays quiet but the disappointment in his face washes away and is replaced with concern. I don't want to look at them but I'm forcing myself to, I can no longer hold back my tears.

"Lance." Shiro says reaching out a hand to touch my cheek but I flinch away

At this rate I'll never get over them.

"I'm going back to the castle, have fun." I say looking down and walking away

"Lance wait." Keith says and grabs my arm but I pull away

We look at each other for a few seconds before I continue walking away back to the castle. Luckily I don't run into anyone on my way so I can make it back to my room quickly.  Once inside I rip off my armour and throw myself into bed letting my tears out completely.

 **Shiro's P.O.V.**  
Keith and I watch Lance walk away in shock and then look at each other. We don't even need to say anything to know what each other is thinking. We messed up, we both really like Lance and wanted him to join our relationship but I don't see how that could happen at this point. Not after forgetting his birthday.

"We need to tell the others." Keith says pulling me from my thoughts

"You're right." I agree and we rush off to find everyone else

We find Hunk but the food table looking over the different plates of strange foods.

"Hunk, did you know it was Lance's birthday a few days ago?" Keith asks and Hunk turns to look at us, his face pale

"W-What?" He asks placing down his plate of food

"It was July 28th, we missed his birthday." Keith says

"A-Are you serious?" I can see Hunk's hands shaking "He came to me, he asked me if I remembered what the day was and I didn't..."

The realisation hits me that he came to us as well, when Keith and I were training. We didn't just forget, he came to us and asked but we still didn't remember, he must have felt horrible.

"We need to tell everyone else, we have to make this right." I say and we go to find Pidge, Allura and Coran

They all react pretty similar, they say that Lance came to them but they had no idea, Hunk by far is the most guilty as he's known Lance for ages and forgot about him. What can we do to make things right? I think I have an idea.

****Time skip to a few hours later****

**Lance's P.O.V.**  
After crying myself to sleep I wake up a few hours later. I drag myself into my bathroom and see the dried tear stains on my cheeks and my tired eyes. I splash some cold water in my face and change into my normal clothes from my black body suit.

Then I walk out of my bedroom in search of food. I wonder if the party has ended yet, did Shiro and Keith tell everyone that they missed my birthday? I should have kept my mouth shut, now it looks like I'm blaming them for something that isn't really that important. I could have just drunk something else, trust me to make an issue out of nothing,

The halls are silent and empty, I can't hear any sound at all. I don't think anyone has arrived yet. I turn into the kitchen and hear soft whispering. No one is in here though. I head to the refrigerator machine like thing and look inside but there isn't anything good to eat, what happened to all the food?

I hear more whispering and decide to follow it. What's going on? I follow the sound to the lounge room and when I open the door it's completely dark inside.

"Hello?" I say

Suddenly the lights flick on and I see my team smiling at me with a big banner saying 'happy birthday Lance'. There's a big birthday cake and I can even see a few presents. I feel tears well up in my eyes at all the emotions.

"Happy birthday Lance." Hunk says walking up to me nervously "I'm really sorry I forgot about your birthday."

"It's fine, it's not important." I say nonchalantly

"It is important, Lance it's you're birthday and you're 18 now." Hunk says wrapping me in a hug "I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Happy birthday Lance, I'm sorry I forgot." Pidge says walking up to us "I got so caught up in my work I forgot to check the dates, I should have paid more attention to you. You're like a brother to me."

"Happy birthday Lance." Allura states hugging me tightly "You're also like a brother to me, I feel ashamed I forgot about your birthday."

"Happy birthday number three, I apologise for my forgetfulness." Coran states placing a hand in my shoulder

"Thank you." I say to everyone, wiping my tears of happiness

There are two people who haven't apologised. I don't know if they will, I don't expect them to... They shouldn't have to. Shiro and Keith, I should probably apologise to them after I got angry.

Everyone else begins to dance and celebrate while Shiro and Keith walk over to me, my heart beating a million miles per minute. When they finally arrive it's quiet for a few seconds before I decide to break the silence.

"I-I'm sorry for getting angry earlier." I state "It was dumb to get upset about something as silly as a birthday."

"Why are you apologising?" Keith asks "You didn't do anything wrong. We were the ones who forgot your birthday."

"But-" I begun to say before Shiro cuts me off

"No Lance, it's not your fault. You don't need to take responsibility for people who hurt you." Shiro states, placing a hand on my shoulder "I'm sorry for forgetting your birthday, Keith and I even had something planned."

"Something planned?" I ask a little confused

"Come with us." Keith says looking away nervously

"Ok?" I say but it's more of a question

I follow them out of the room into the observatory where you can see the beautiful stars. I turn towards them, feeling confused and scared about what's to come. Are they going to say they hate me?

"So uhh, Lance." Keith says and I look towards him "You know how Shiro and I have been dating for a while?"

That feels like a knife to my heart. No I need to move on, they don't have to like me back.

"Yeah I guess." I say trying to avoid eye contact so I don't start crying again, not that I have any tears left to cry

"Lance we also like you." Shiro states "We want to date you and we want you to date us."

My heart stops for a second and I inhale sharply, are they serious?

"W-What?" I ask

"Shiro and I both like you a lot." Keith says "I guess it's a lot to take in huh?"

"We wanted to wait until you were 18 but I guess we missed it by a few days." Shiro says

I bring my hand up to my mouth and even more tears well up in my eyes but this time they're happy tears.

"I like you two too." I say smiling happily

Keith and Shiro smile at me and hug me tightly. This is the best birthday present I could ask for, I don't even care if they forgot it was my birthday anymore. I feel Keith's hand under my chin and he tilts my chin to press my lips against his.

I kiss back and it feels amazing, happiness wells up inside of me as we press our lips against each others. When we pull back Shiro leans down and kisses me, I kiss back again and his hand wipes away the tears on my cheeks.

I feel Keith's lips press against my jaw and they trail down my neck. I wrap one arm around Keith and one around Shiro. When we pull apart they smile at me but their eyes are filled with lust.

"How about we celebrate your birthday at the party and then we can give you the second part of your present later?" Keith asks, his eyes glinting with ulterior motives

I blush and begun to stutter but they just chuckle and pull me out of the observatory back to the lounge room. I happily join the party, knowing that my friends really do care about me. My two new boyfriends and what they have planned is also another reason to be excited, as well as nervous. But I know they'll take care of me.


	2. Someone To Talk To

_**Trigger Warning(s)** _   
_**-Depression** _   
_**-Mentions of self harm** _   
_**-Suicide Attempt** _

Lance's P.O.V.  
Today's the day, I'm finally going to do it. I'm going to tell the team about my depression. I've been suffering in silence for so long, I didn't want to burden them or make it seem like I'm too weak to be a paladin, but I want to tell them, they might understand, they might be able to help. We're friends after all right? Right?

I ran out of anti-depressants a few days ago, and I realised it's now or never, I don't know what I'll do if I continue to let it all bottle up inside of me. I didn't want to tell them earlier because I know they have more important things to worry about, plus they seem to be getting more and more annoyed with me, but now I can't hide it any longer.

I take a deep breath and walk into the kitchen where Hunk is making some sort of weird alien food. I take a seat on one of the stools and watch what he is doing. My heart is beating so fast out of nervousness, I'm finally going to tell someone.

"Hey, Hunk can I tell you something really important?" I ask

I don't get a reply.

"Hunk?" I ask again

He seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in, while cooking and looks up to me.

"Oh hey, Lance." He says smiling but doesn't stop moving

"Hey Hunk, can I tell you something?" I ask

"Can it wait? I'm swamped right now." He responds "Sorry."

"I-It's fine, sure." I say and slide off the stool, quietly walking out

Well, I can't let that get me down, Hunk was just busy. I'll tell him later... Next is Pidge I guess. Hopefully, she isn't working as well. She's like a little sister to me, and I genuinely want to tell her why I've been acting so strange lately.

I walk through the empty halls to her room and knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I hear her call out

"Hey Pidge, it's Lance." I say, and the door opens

"What is it, Lance? I'm kind of busy." She asks sighing and looking up at me from her laptop

"Oh um I was hoping I could tell you something important." I reply

"I'm really close to cracking this Galra code, can it wait?" She asks turning back to her screen

"Yeah, I guess... by then." I say quietly and walk out of her room, the door closing behind me

This isn't good... Well, I just need to find someone who isn't busy, I don't want to interrupt anyone. I continue walking through the hallways feeling a pit grow in my stomach. I walk down the halls I see Coran fiddling with some of the wires, Coran will listen!

"Hey Coran, can I talk to you about something?" I ask

"Sorry, my boy but I need to finish with these wires." He replies "The mice are nowhere to be found, probably taking my things, so I have to do it manually. Can it wait?"

"Yeah it can wait, it's not that important." I say with a fake laugh, and I continue walking down the hallway

It makes sense, I can't expect everyone to just stop what they are doing for me, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to. The pit in my stomach grows, and I begin to feel disheartened. No, I can't give up, there are still three more people who I can talk to.

Sure they're Allura who I know I annoy, Shiro who is literally the perfect human being, someone who I will never match up to, and Keith, my 'rival'. They'll be harder to tell, but at this point I'm desperate.

Of course, I don't hate Keith, I mean this 'rivalry' was the only way I could prove my worth to the team. It kind of started back at the Garrison, I was always compared to him, so I assumed he was compared to me as well, but I guess not because he didn't even know who I was. When he left, I continued to be compared to him. Even after being taken into space I get compared to him in piloting and fighting. However somewhere amongst all of this, I managed to grow feelings for him, but I know he could never feel the same way.

I walk into the control room where Allura is looking over some maps and constellations.

"Hey Allura, can I talk to you about something really important?" I ask

"What is it, Lance?" She asks sounding annoyed and picking up the maps "Now I've lost my place."

"Sorry about that, it's really important though." I say, trying desperately to get her to listen to me

"I doubt it's more important than the maps I was looking at which would help us navigate around complicated galaxies." She says looking at me

"Haha you're right, it's not that important." I say backing away "Sorry for distracting you."

"Shouldn't you be training?" She sighs and turns back to the maps

"Yeah..." I say quietly and walk out

The pit inside my stomach has expanded, I don't know if I'll be able to take anyone else ignoring me like this. I guess next is Shiro, surely our so-called "space dad" will listen, even if he is someone I'll never match up too.

I search the halls for Shiro, and I find him walking out of his room holding some rolled up piece of paper that looks like more maps and constellations. Maybe I should help Allura and Shiro, instead of trying to whine about my problems to people.

"Shiro." I say before I can talk myself out of it "Can I tell you something really important."

"I really need to get these maps to Allura, we're so close to understanding the maps, and I can't take any distractions." He replies

"It's really important though." I say, practically begging for him to listen

"Not now Lance, we can talk later." He says and walks down the hallway

"But I don't think I'll have a later..." I whisper to myself

I only have a tiny amount of confidence left, should I tell Keith? No one has listened so why would the member of the team that obviously hates me want to listen to me? But I don't have any other choice, I need to get this off my chest.

I make my way to the training room and spy on Keith train for a few minutes, waiting for him to take a break so I can talk to him. Finally, he stops swinging his sword and returns it back to its Bayard form after finishing the level. I walk up to him taking a deep breath.

"Keith, can I talk to you about something really important?" I ask

"I'm in the middle of training Lance." He sighs annoyed

"But it's really important, I've tried to tell everyone else, but no one has the time to listen." I reply

"Maybe that's because they're all too busy to listen to you complaining about how you can't get a girlfriend!" He snaps at me, and I take a step back

"That's-That's not what... I-I mean I..." I say trailing off in shock, then I plaster a fake smile on my face "If you're to busy then it can wait."

I turn around quickly, not bothering to look at his face and briskly walking out of the training room. I head back to my room and close the door, locking it and plopping down on my bed. I dig my nails into my arms, but I don't get the relief from the pain I feel.

I walk to my bathroom and grab my razors from the cupboard. I can feel blue telling me to stop, but I don't want to, it'll feel better. I press the blade into my skin, where a few other scars already are. The team doesn't care, no one cares. This is all I have.

**Keith's P.O.V.**  
I've finally finished training for the day, and now I'm heading to the kitchen for food. I wonder what happened to Lance? I feel kind of guilty for blowing him off like that. I really do like him, but I don't know how to deal with these feelings I have for him, so I just snapped at him.

I should generally apologise to him. Once inside the kitchen, I see Hunk, Pidge and Shiro poking at some cookies Hunk probably made.

"Are they ok to eat?" Pidge asks

"Yeah." Hunk replies

"Remember last time..." Pidge replies, and we all shiver, remembering the bad memories of the last failed batch of cookies

"That was because I got distracted, not the recipe." Hunk replies smiling "This time I didn't get distracted at all."

"Hey, guys." I say walking up to them "Has anyone seen Lance? He said he needed to talk to me about something."

"Oh yeah he said he needed to speak with me as well, but I was busy helping Allura." Shiro states nodding

"Me too... But I was trying to crack the Galra code." Pidge adds "I didn't want to lose my train of thought so I kind of snapped."

"Well... That happened to me too." Hunk says "Lance told me it was really important, but I was trying to make the perfect batch of cookies, so I blew him off."

"So Lance tried to talk with all of us, but we were to busy?" I ask or did we just not care

"Hello paladins, how is everyone?" Allura asks walking in "Has anyone seen Lance, I must apologise for snapping at him earlier, he came to talk to me, but I was looking over constellations."

"You too?" Pidge asks "Lance wanted to talk to us as well, but we all said we were to busy."

"Well, perhaps he is with Coran." Allura says frowning slightly

"Who is with me?" Coran asks entering the now crowded kitchen

"Please tell me Lance didn't come to you to tell you something important and you were to busy as well." Hunk says

"Yes he did, how do you know?" Coran replies looking a little confused

"Lance came to us as well." I say shortly "He seemed really concerned, I snapped at him when he told me the team didn't listen. I thought he was being overdramatic."

"I've got an awful feeling about this..." Shiro says nervously

"We need to find Lance now." Allura states and begins to walk to Lance's room with the rest of us close behind her

We quickly arrive at Lance's room and knock on the door, but there's no answer. We knock again, but there's still no sound coming from his room.

"Lance?" Hunk calls "Are you in there?"

We try to open the door, but it's locked. I'm beginning to get really worried.

"Pidge can you hack the door open?" I ask, and Pidge nods and runs to her room where her laptop is

When she comes back, she hooks up her laptop to the room and frantically types a series of codes and passwords.

I tap my foot in anticipation, and we all look at each other nervously. Finally the doors open and we rush inside, Lance's room is empty, but the light is on in the bathroom. When we open the door, we see Lance lying on the floor in a pool of blood coming from slits on his wrists.

"Lance!" Hunk yells and rushes over to him

I run over Lance and sit down next to him, not caring about the blood staining my clothes. I press my ear to his chest, and I can still hear a faint heartbeat.

"He's still alive, quickly get him to a healing pod!" I yell, and Hunk picks him up

We run to the healing pods, and Coran quickly prepares one. Lance is put inside, and it shuts, we wait for a second before it glows blue signifying Lance has accepted the help and the pod can heal him.

Coran pulls up a screen to get the results of what happened, although it's pretty apparent, and the damage that has been caused.

"It says here he's lost about 75% of his blood if we arrived any later he would have died." Coran says "But the pod should heal him and be able to clone his blood, so there is no need for a blood transfusion."

"Why would Lance do this?" Allura asks shocked

"I'm guessing that's what he was trying to tell us..." Pidge whispers quietly

"Hmm interesting, it says here he has a chemical imbalance in his brain." Coran mutters to himself "He has a lack of serotonin and norepinephrine."

"What?" I ask confused

"It means the chemicals in his brain that keeps him happy, well the ability to be happy I guess are in too small of a quantity to work." Pidge explains.  "Lance has depression, I'm guessing his anti-depressants ran out, so he wanted to tell us before anything bad happened."

"Something like this." I mumble to myself "He tried to tell us and we told him we were too busy, this is all our fault."

"When he wakes up we'll apologise and listen to him." Shiro says placing a hand on my shoulder "We need to make it up to him but for now let's let him heal."

Everyone nods and Coran tells us that Lance will be in the healing pod for a week. I decide I'll stay here the whole time, I want to make sure he is ok. I take a seat next to the pod and watch as everyone filters out of the room. They must be blaming themselves as much as I blame myself. This is all our fault.

**Third Person P.O.V.**  
The team hasn't been dealing with Lance's attempt at suicide very well. Lance is still stuck in the healing pod slowly regaining his blood; however, the pod cannot fix the chemical balances in his brain.

Pidge has been working non-stop, tiring herself to the point of exhaustion. She's trying to make sure she will never be to busy for Lance ever again. She like everyone else believes it's their fault because they didn't listen to Lance when he came to them. Pidge is working on more anti-depressants that will help Lance

Allura has been so ashamed of herself, she feels like she pushed Lance to the point where he couldn't tell anyone. She puts so much pressure on the paladins that she never stopped to ask if they were ok. Now she is spending all her time talking to the paladins and making sure the team works together more healthily. She never listened to Lance, and he almost died. Allura promised herself she would always make sure she had time for all the paladins, Lance included.

Coran feels as though he nearly lost a son. He should have paid more attention to the signs that something wasn't right with Lance. Lance was quiet, too withdrawn too be ok and no one noticed. When he was finally ready to say something he was ignore. If he had died Coran would have never forgiven himself.

Hunk was one of the worse, he feels so horrible for ignoring Lance like he did. He just wanted to make sure the cookies didn't burn but in the end, something worse happened. He should have been there for his friend. Hunk hasn't been able to cook or focus on anything, he can only think about how he can be there for Lance and make sure his friend is ok.

Shiro feels as though he's failed as a leader, he was the one everyone in the team should be able to come to, he was the one they should be able to trust. Lance finally worked up the courage to talk to him, his idol about what's bothering him and he was blown off. He will make sure Lance knows how vital he is to the team and how valued he is. Shiro puts all his energy into training to work off the guilt he feels, he tries to be a better leader, one his team deserves.

Keith has taken it the worse by far, he hasn't moved from the healing pod except to change, shower and use the bathroom. He eats and sleeps by the healing pod, quietly begging for Lance's forgiveness. He knows what he said can't be taken back, and that it isn't true at all. Maybe if he had listened Lance wouldn't be in a healing pod because he tried to kill himself. How could he do this to the person he loves?

****Time skip to a week later****

**Lance's P.O.V.**  
I'm in a completely dark, barren wasteland. Trapped with only my thoughts, it has been hard, but I feel safe strangely. Here I don't need to prove myself to anyone, I don't need to worry about whether I'm good enough, I don't need to hide my feelings for Keith, I can just be me. It's still painful but maybe being alone is for the best.

But then who will pilot blue? What if I'm really needed to save the universe? What if I do have a place with the paladins? What if I'm just a placeholder, Allura would be better. But I can't give up... I don't want to give up... I want to stay with the team.

"Lance please come out." I hear someone say in the darkness

"Who's there?!" I shout

"Lance please you need to wake up." The voice says again

"I am awake!" I shout again

"Lance I love you." The voice says quietly, and suddenly I feel a rush of cold air, and then I'm falling

The blackness disappears, and I feel nothing before a bright light blinds me. I opened my eyes, and I'm laying in Keith's arms looking up at him.

"Keith?" I croak out, confused "What happened?"

"Oh my god Lance." He says and hugs me tightly "You're ok, never do that again!"

"Do what?" I ask I can barely remember what happened

"You-You tried to kill yourself." Keith whispers, barely audible

Suddenly it all comes back to me, how the team didn't listen when I tried to tell them, and I got to carried away that I tried to end my life. It was an accident, but now they all know. My stomach twists with anxiety, sadness, anger and pain.

"Why?" I ask pushing away

"Why?" Keith repeats confused

"Why do you care now? None of you cared before!" I shout and manage to pull myself away from Keith, but I fall down to the floor straight away

Keith catches me again and runs a hand through my hair.

"Shh Lance." He says wiping the tears off my cheeks that I didn't even realise I had "I care about you so much. I shouldn't have said what I said, I was jealous and stupid."

"Keith?" I ask feeling confused

"I-I'm not good with my emotions, I'm hot-headed and angry a lot, but I know how I feel about you." He says holding me tighter "I really like you, Lance, maybe even love, but at the very least I want you to know I don't hate you and never did. I'm so sorry the rest of the team, and I pushed you to this."

"Keith I-" I begin to say, but I'm cut off

"I know you might still be angry, you might hate me, and the rest of the team and forgiveness isn't so easily given but-" Keith says, but I cut him off by reaching a hand up to behind his neck and pulling his lips onto mine

He kisses me back and leans me onto him, so I don't have any pressure on my legs or body, then we pull away, and l look nervously up to Keith.

"I like you too," I say

He smiles softly and hugs me tightly.

"Can you stand? We should tell the rest of the team you're ok." Keith says

"Yeah, I can," I reply and shakily stand up, the feeling returns to my legs, and I can walk normally

We walk to the control room, Keith's arm around my waist for support. When we step inside, everyone's head turns towards us, but they stay silent. They must be furious.

"H-Hey everyone, I'm really sorry about what I did, and I-" I begin to say before I'm cut off by a tight group hug from everyone.

"Lance don't apologise." Hunk says, "We should have been the ones apologising, we should have been better friends!"

"I nearly lost another brother." Pidge says quietly "It was all our fault."

"We're so sorry, we all should have been there for you." Shiro says "You can come to talk to us at any time and we'll be there for you."

"Thank you," I say with tears of happiness rolling down my cheeks

It's been so long since I last felt this happy. With the team's support and love I can officially start my road to recovery, especially now I don't need to bottle everything up. Pidge is working in antidepressants that will be ready in a few days, but until then I have a loving boyfriend and family to take care of me. Maybe my depression won't go away completely, or at all but at least I have someone to talk to.


	3. Appreciation

**Lance's P.O.V.**  
I fly through the battlefield in blue, attacking the Galra ships coming at us left and right. Pidge is in one of the Galra ships trying to get information on some of the secret Galra bases. Hunk is covering Pidge in the yellow lion making sure we know which ship she is on.

Shiro is in the black and Keith is in the red lion, both are attacking Galra ships as well, soon the battle will be over. Finally, the green lion's eyes light up again as Pidge gets back in the pilot's seat. Her and Hunk seem to be working together to gather a bunch of Galra ships together and then blast them.

Keith flies under the ships, and they begin to follow him, but he is too fast, so they crash into each other instead. I need to do something now, or else it'll look like I didn't do anything. I notice a ship sneaking up on Keith and before it can blast him I hit it with a ray of ice from blue, freezing it.

Shiro delivers the final blow that sends the remaining Galra ships running, we've won. We fly back to the ship and put our lions in the hanger. Once inside the ship, we take off our armour and head to the control room.

"Good job paladins, another win." Allura says looking at us happily "You showed leadership, Shiro."

"I couldn't have done it without Pidge and Hunk setting up that big group of ships." Shiro replies

"Yeah, but did you see Keith's piloting? That was so cool." Hunk says smiling "And Pidge got the information as well."

"Good job everyo-." I say, but I'm cut off by Allura

"Well, then I think you all should rest before we decide our next move." Allura states and everyone filters out of the room, not even noticing me

I try to speak up again, but everyone is already gone. This isn't the first time this has happened. I never get any praise, the team is always upset with me or doesn't realise I exist. I sigh and head back to my room to sleep.

Once inside my room I take off my black bodysuit and change into the Altean pyjamas I found in the castle. I lay down in bed and turn off the light, but my mind can't rest. I keep going over every time I've been ignored or yelled at.

Usually, when we come back from a mission or planet everyone praises everyone, I do as well. I always tell Hunk he did a good job or I tell Shiro he's a good leader, but I never get any praise at all. I'm not just complimenting them to get something back but I try my hardest, and I kind of want someone to turn around and say "good job".

Maybe my hardest isn't good enough. Perhaps I need to be more like Keith, that's what everyone is always saying. Maybe if I train more and work harder, I'll be able to get praise from my team. I have to try, I don't want to be alone.

Then maybe Shiro will pay attention to me as well. Before Voltron I looked up to him as an idol, I still do, but now my celebrity crush has turned into an actual crush. Shiro always seems unreachable though, way out of my league, he is literally the perfect human being. Back on earth, everyone loved him, and he was hailed as a hero. Here he is the perfect leader and makes sure we always win. Besides I think he has something with Keith, figures, they've known each other for years.

I guess I should get up and train, there's really no point trying to sleep, I don't even deserve sleep. If I had worked harder, the team would have noticed me and praised me, this is my fault.

I sit up again and change out of my pyjamas back into my bodysuit. I walk the hallways and grab my armour from the locker room racks before walking to one of the training rooms. After checking no one is inside so I won't disturb them I head inside and begin at level 5 which is my average level.

After what feels like 10 minutes I have worked my way up to 12. I decide it's probably time for a break as all my muscles ache and my back feels like it's about to give out. I walk over to the monitor which says I've been here for six hours, oh god I need to go to bed before it's time to wake up.

I hang up my armour and head to my room, changing into my regular clothes as to save time when I need to wake up. I throw myself on my bed and feel my eyes close for a fraction of a second before the castle alarm goes off signifying it's time to wake up.

I groan and head to my bathroom, applying my face creams and face mask a bit slowly, then brushing my teeth and running a brush through my hair. Then I make sure I look presentable before heading to the dining room.

When I arrive everyone turns to me, but I see the annoyance in their eyes.

"Lance you're late again." Allura states

"I was just-" I say before I'm cut off.

"I don't want to hear your excuses, sit down and eat quickly so you can all train." Allura says

I sit down and eat the green goo that Hunk prepared and quietly listen to everyone's conversation. Nothing too exciting is being said so I find myself dozing off.

"Lance?" Shiro says snapping me out of my haze

"Yes?" I reply

"Are you ok? You look tired?" He asks

"I'm fine, we should go train now." I say taking my plate to the kitchen and scraping it before placing it in the dishwasher

Why does Shiro care about me now? He probably doesn't, I just look overly tired. But still, he pointed it out and not anyone else. Maybe he does care...

****Time skip to three months later****

**Lance's P.O.V.**  
It's been a few months since I started training every night and trying to do everything right. I feel myself become stronger, but the lack of sleep I have holds me back. I usually get three hours at the most each night due to my midnight training.

So far no one has noticed I've become better but I'm still hopeful, I just need to train even harder. I guess I can cut sleep back to two hours to get an extra hour of training.

Right now we're all training as a group in hand to hand combat. I'm up against Keith, and I feel ready to show the team how much I've improved.

Allura signifies the start of the battle and Keith, and I go at each other, I expertly dodge his attacks and manage to hit him a few times, something I've never really been able to do well. Surely after this, they'll be able to see how much I've improved.

As I'm concentrating I feel everything become hazy but I keep fighting, just slower. I try to shake myself out of it, but Keith quickly pins me to the floor with his sword, signifying his win.

"Good work Keith." Allura states

"Yes, you looked for an opening and took it." Shiro adds

I pull myself to my feet feeling the haze go away and I can process everything normally again.

"What about me?" I ask, at this point I'm desperate for some sort of praise

"You need to work on your feet, you lost balance to quickly." Allura says looking at her screen and typing some stuff down

Before I can argue with her about why Keith got praise and I didn't the castle alarm goes off signifying that Galra ships are close. Time for another battle...

****Time skip to after the battle****

**Lance's P.O.V.**  
During the battle, I took out the most ships and made sure no one got injured, when Keith wasn't paying attention I took out a ship from behind him. Now I'm sitting in blue's hanger trying to shake off the tiredness I feel.

I can hear the team outside talking.

"Keith, you did a good job taking out those ships." Shiro says

"Thanks, but if Hunk hadn't had made them turn around, I would have lost the element of surprise." Keith replies

"Nope, it was Pidge who gave me the idea." Hunk says deflecting the praise

"Psh Shiro took out a few of the ships by surprise giving me the idea." Pidge laughs

I exit blue's hanger and walk over to the rest of the team.

"Hey guys, good job." I say happily

"Thanks, Lance, you-" Shiro begins to say, but Allura cuts him off

Good work today paladins, dinner will be ready shortly." Allura says "Please wash your armour and change."

I sigh and walk to the automatic armour cleaner and take off my armour. Then I head to the locker rooms.

Shiro and Keith are close behind me talking about something. My feelings for a Shiro are stronger than ever, but I'm nearly 100% sure he and Keith are dating, they're always together, training or just hanging out. I haven't seen a kiss or anything, but maybe they do that in private.

I head to one of the showers and lock the door, then I get changed out of my black bodysuit and put it in the laundry shoot. I stand under the water and wash off all the sweat and blood covering me, feeling better once I do.

Under the hot water is a great time to think. What was Shiro going to say? I think he was going to praise me, but why would he? I would expect Hunk, Pidge or even Keith in this situation but not Shiro. He has better things to do than worry about me.

I get out of the shower and get dressed in my everyday clothes, hanging up my towel and walking out. Shiro and Keith are talking in the hallway, and I see Keith give me the side eye and whisper something to Shiro.

"Lance." Shiro says turning around

"Oh hey Shiro, Sup Keith." I say plastering a fake smile

"Lance you can't just take out every ship!" Keith says scolding slightly "Blue wasn't built for that and we want to take care of them to."

What? Even when I'm doing the right thing I'm still in the wrong, everything I do is wrong.

"Keith, I think you're being a bit-" Shiro says, but I cut him off

"Whatever Keith, God nothing I do is ever enough for you people is it?" I say bitterly and walk away to my room

Once inside I immediately regret what I said. How could I have been so stupid? Now it looks like I'm asking for compliments, ugh I shouldn't have gotten so upset, Keith was right. I really can't do anything right.

I lay down in my bed and close my eyes, falling asleep quickly due to being exhausted. I would cry, but at this point, I don't think I have any tears left.

I wake up shortly after falling asleep, realising it's time for me to train. I sit up and feel all my muscles clench and ache, not paying much mind I get out of bed and walk to the locker/shower rooms where my bodysuit and armour is, now clean.

I put it on and head to the training room, praying Shiro or Keith isn't there already. Luckily the training room is empty.

"Start training level 41!" I call out and watch as the gladiators appear

I shoot them quickly and dodge the attacks, after about five minutes I've taken care of all of them. I take a deal breath and put my bayard down, rubbing my shoulder.

"Lance?" I hear someone say and I turn around shocked, it's Shiro "What are you doing up?"

"Just training." I reply

"Lance it's 3 am, you shouldn't be up this late." Shiro says taking a few steps towards me "I would expect this from Keith, not you."

"It's fine, I'm not tired." I say

"Yes you are, I can see it on your face." Shiro says "You look like you haven't slept properly for months."

"Fine, I'll go to bed." I say turning around

"Lance." Shiro says as I begin to walk out "Why does it say here that you were on level 41?"

"Because I was." I reply

"Lance that's too dangerous, I can barely pass level 23." He says shocked

"It's fine, I've done it multiple times." I sigh "I've been training every night to become better."

"Better at what?" Shiro asks confused

I feel a course of emotions bubbling up, love for Shiro, annoyance at myself, sadness that my training isn't enough, anger at the entire situation.

"Better at being a paladin!" I shout snapping "Every time we come back from a mission or a fight or a planet the entire team gets some sort of praise, everyone else gets told 'good job' or 'great idea', but I get nothing! It's not like I'm asking for compliments, I just want praise when I do well in things! I thought it was because I wasn't good enough at fighting, so I started training but apparently, that's an issue as well!"

"Lance I-" Shiro says, but I cut him off

"No, I don't want to hear it!" I say taking off my helmet at letting my tears pour out "I'm sorry I'm not a good enough paladin, but I'm trying. I thought earlier I had finally proved myself as being a worthy paladin by taking out most of the ships but apparently not. Why don't I get any praise? Is it my fault? Am I doing something wrong? Please tell me! I'm sorry if I am, I can be better, I can-"

Suddenly Shiro pulls me towards him, and he presses his lips against mine. I freeze for a second before I kiss back, wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms go to my waist which holds me close to him. We pull away for air and look into each other's eyes. He silently reaches up his human hand to wipe away my tears.

"Shiro?" I question quietly

"Lance, you are an amazing paladin." Shiro says, and my heart skips a beat "You are strong, you are worthy of being a paladin, you are brave, you are everything a paladin of Voltron should be. I'm sorry the team, and I have ignored you, looking back I can see you're right, but from now on I promise we will change and give you the love and support you need, I will give you the love and support you need."

"Do-Do you really mean that?" I ask

"Yes, I love you, Lance." He says, and I feel his arms become tighter around me

"I love you too." I reply and press my lips against his, he kisses back, and we spend the next few minutes in a heavy make-out session in the training room

I finally feel ok, I don't feel bad about myself. Shiro will talk to the team and make sure they don't ignore me any more. I believe in him, and I believe in myself. He's right, I'm a paladin of Voltron, and I wouldn't be here if I weren't worthy. I just have to keep moving forward.

****Time skip to a week later****

**Lance's P.O.V.**  
We just came back from a battle, and I am feeling nervous about going out to the team. I know Shiro talked to them about working as a team and not leaving people out, but I'm still worried. Well, I need to get over this sooner or later.

I exit blue and walk over to the team who are all patting each other on the backs and celebrating.

"Hey good work everyone." I say

"Good work Lance. That ice blast was amazing." Pidge says

"Yeah, good work buddy." Hunk says placing a hand on my shoulder

"Good work Lance." Keith says before walking out, everyone following him except Shiro who walks over to me and presses a kiss to my lips

"Good work Lance." Shiro says

"You too, we wouldn't be anywhere without our fearless leader." I say happily

"Let me show you how fearless I can be." Shiro says, his voice becoming lower and more suggestive

"Then take me away." I reply giggling, and he picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist and his hands on my butt

"I plan to." He replies kissing me deeply


End file.
